There was a single moment that changed my life - a moment that transformed me from a seeker searching for the simple certainty of faith, to a life opened to the magick and mystery of the Divine. It was a moment that moved me beyond just talking about spiritual truths - it set me on the path of actually living a spiritual life. It was my moment of personal epiphany when I became transformed by the Goddess.
One summer evening, I was driving with a friend through a city park when we saw the full moon. It had recently risen and was still swollen and huge on the horizon. The full moon radiated such a beautiful golden glow that we felt the need to pull over to the side of the road to admire it. Impulsively, we got out of the car and moved to the soft grass under a large tree where our view would be unobstructed.
The moon was hypnotic, and my friend and I fell silent as we slipped under the ancient spell of a beautiful moon-rise. I lay back on the grass, and gradually felt myself sinking into the flesh of the earth. I allowed myself to totally relax, and enjoyed the spontaneous decision that led me to this experience. I sighed and settled against the summer grass as I let the magic of moonlight soothe my spirit. It felt as though my body was melting. I felt myself merge into the soil, and soon I became a part of the earth; My body felt heavy, massive, gazing ever upward into the radiant eye of the moon. I felt the slow, deep heartbeat of the earth pulse deep within my body.
In return, the moon stared down, flooding my eyes with glowing golden light. As the moonlight struck my body, I felt the barriers of my flesh vanish. I became suffused with light. I felt my spirit reflect the moonlight, merging with it until I glowed back at the moon. As I felt my spirit merge with the moonlight, I was startled by a new feeling of overwhelming awareness that infused this golden moonlight connection. The sensation rapidly expanded into a sense of Presence... I suddenly knew that I was in the presence of an energy much more incredibly vast and wise than I had ever conceived of before. A door within my soul flew wide, and the Goddess entered.
At that moment, my psyche seemed wrenched open, and the eyelids of my mind were peeled back with the rush of knowing that filled me. I saw galaxies born and die, and electrons spinning around the atom. I saw complete order and chaos in perpetual balance, and glimpsed the very purpose of the Universe. Most importantly, I witnessed its own awareness of itself. I felt, for a few endless moments, that I had become the Universe.
I was deeply embraced by the mind of the Goddess, and the energy surged through me in a torrential rush. As I was mentally reeling and trying to absorb the enormity of it all, it was at this moment that She told me that I was to be Her teacher, Her Priestess. My doubt and uncertainty evaporated as my spirit vibrated with the force of Her command.
Slowly, the glow receded from the center of my soul. The Universe shrank back down to manageable proportions, and gradually I began to be aware of my body as distinct from the ground beneath me again. I opened eyes that I hadn’t realized were closed, to discover tears streaming down my face. I looked over to my friend to see tears on her cheeks as well. Without exchanging a word, we knew that we had both experienced something magical under the Moon that night. For weeks afterward, I moved through my daily routine in a daze. My thoughts were turned inward to the point where I barely noticed the world around me. I spent several weeks looking at the world with completely new eyes. The entire universe and my place in it had been totally redefined. As unsought as it was, I had been embraced by the Goddess. I had been called to be Her teacher and Priestess, and I felt like I barely even knew what that meant. I had only been studying Wicca for about a year, and I felt completely unprepared for the responsibility. I began to pursue my studies with renewed dedication and enthusiasm. The journey of my life truly began at that moment.
From my experience that night, I became deeply aware of the fact that divisions are illusions -- that we are all one. The labels we attach to people and distinctions we draw are all based on superficial things. There is a deeper reality. We all share the same connection to this universal life force. We are all co-participants in this magickal self-aware universe.
Because of this intense experience of connection, I became much more aware of myself in relation to the world around me. I became deeply concerned about environmental and political issues for the first time. I realized that it’s all my “backyard”. I approach all situations in my life from this position of inspiration. My connection with Divine informs and inspires my attitudes, behaviors, and actions. My spirituality is no longer isolated and set apart from how I live my life. This spiritual outlook informs all areas of my life, from moral behaviors to political action to how I raise my daughters.
It has led to a deeper awareness of the ethics behind the admonition to “harm none”. Viewing the world through the lens of this universal connection shows me that all harm done to others really is harm done to the self. I have been shown how energy flows through the world, and I have seen the folly of holding onto negative thoughts and emotions. Because of my encounter with the Goddess, I have a greater awareness of my life as a grand journey. My spirituality is what I steer by.
My experience of being embraced by the Goddess was one that changed my life. The Lady came into my spirit and spoke with me. It was an experience that ripped me away from the security of all I once knew, and set me on an entirely new path in life. In that eternal moment, I became Her Priestess. From that point on, my life and my actions have been devoted to the path of the Divine.
~Flame RavenHawk
April 12, 2003