Gradually, I began to feel more comfortable letting select loved ones be present while I did my rituals. Although I didn’t fling open the broom closet doors and let just anyone in, I did allow family and close friends to join me if they asked me with sincerity. The “performance anxiety” was lessened by the fact that I trusted the person who joined me. This willingness to accept the risk taught me the deeper meaning of the admonition to “Perfect Love and Perfect Trust”.
I also learned that if I clearly explained the purpose of the ritual, and the details behind what I was likely to be doing and/or saying, it helped us both a lot. I was cleared and more focused on the goals and purposes of my ritual, which naturally made it more effective. My observers were able to follow along with what I was doing, and connect to it with understanding.
Their understanding of the methods I was using and the goals I was working toward helped them move beyond being a passive observer and into a more active participant. I would tell my guest that there was no such thing as "merely observing"... that they participate merely by their presence. I assured them that they didn't need to say or do anything, but that courtesy dictated that they at least be quiet, respectful, and not to disturb the ritual until it was complete.
During the ritual, I tried to allow myself to open up and find words to match what was going through my heart, and to speak them so that my loved one could better participate with their understanding. I have always been careful to stay true to the ritual, and resist the temptation to add extra flourishes for the sake of an audience. In this way, my guest is able to see into the heart of a ritual in an intimate, non-threatening, positive way.
~Flame RavenHawk
October 31, 2002