There are many questions you should ask yourselves while planning for your shared ritual.What follows are several questions you should consider before developing a ritual for yourself an another person.How do you go about creating a ritual that will work for both of you?In order to have a ritual that would be effective for you, you need to decide what kinds of things work for you.
For example, some people raise energy best by dancing, singing, chanting,clapping, drumming, or other physical means.Other people prefer to raise energy by doing group meditation exercises designed to get the "group-mind" working as one.Which style do you prefer?If you both prefer the same style, then it will be easier to choose a ritual format that works well for you both.If you both connect to and raise energy in different ways, then you will have to take that into consideration when designing your ritual.
Some people prefer to use language in very formalized ways during ritual, as it helps them to define the ritual.Using ritual language keeps their minds focused on the idea that they are in sacred space, as opposed to mundane speech in everyday life.Other people find that formalized language feels artificial to them, and find that it interferes with the flow of spontaneous expression during ritual. Which form of expression do you prefer during ritual?
What kinds of physical resources do you have available to you for use in ritual?Do you have a guaranteed private space where you won't be disturbed or interrupted, or will you be doing ritual in a public space like a park?Some people feel uncomfortable in unfamiliar places, while others can slip into a ritual mind set regardless of surroundings.Make sure you choose a spot that both feel comfortable with.
What kinds of sacred objects would you like to incorporate into your ritual?Do you want toinclude things like candles, incense, bells, Athame? If you choose to use such tools, what role will each object play?Remember that these items create symbolic connections to ideas and energies.They’ll only work if they both have the same symbolic meaning for both of you.
Do you want to develop some standard rituals that will be used on each occasion (like a common invocation, or a circle-casting), or would you prefer to be spontaneous and invoke and cast circles a different way each time?Some people are comforted by familiarity, as it allows their concentration to be applied toward the goal of the ritual, instead of the structure.Others feel constricted by formal ritual, or feel that the pressure to memorize the script of a ritual distracts them from the ritual itself.
What roles will you assign yourselves?If you and your coven mate are of the same sex, will you trade priest and priestess roles, or will define them in other ways?Do you want to share ritual responsibilities, or will one person be doing most of the ritual alone?
Share these questions with your coven mate, and spend as much time as necessary deciding on your answers.Once you’re aware of your “ritual inclinations”, you will be ready to choose what combination of elements would suit your goals.And when all the discussion is over, all that’s left is to do it.Rituals are meant to be experienced.It’s a sacred encounter that goes beyond all the planning.By experiencing the ritual, you’ll have a better idea of what really works for you.
Namaste.
~Flame RavenHawk
- October 25, 1997