When the “Christian Conversion Squad” knock on my door, I am ever-so-polite to them. I do not slam the door in their face, nor do I refuse them common courtesy. Some Pagans find it difficult to respectfully decline their offer of salvation. Over time, I have arrived at a few techniques to preserve the peace of my thresh hold.
Approaching my house, these soldiers of Christ should begin to get an inkling of what they are up against. The car parked in the driveway is a traveling billboard of Pagan philosophy and liberal political ideology. If they perchance miss those clues, the cinnamon broom with the woven-wheat pentacle that decorates the door usually tips them off that this is the home of an uncommon sinner. And if they miss the pentacle at the entrance, the large wooden sign that declares “The Witch is IN” is usually a pretty clear indication of who they’re about to approach.
They knock on my door determined to bring me the “true word of God”, as revealed to them in the Bible. Although I’m not a religious scholar, I am comfortably familiar with their primary religious text, as well as their basic philosophy and worldview. My initial response is often to quote the beatitudes "Blessed are the pure of heart, for they shall see God". I assure them that my heart is pure, I speak with God regularly, and I'll tell Him hello for them next time I see Him. I thank them for their concern, then cross my fingers and hope that their common sense and good manners allow our meeting to come to a swift and courteous conclusion.
If they are persistent, then I ask them how much they know about Wicca. Most neighborhood missionaries are profoundly ignorant of all but their own narrow way of looking at things. I offer no insult to their intelligence, no matter how easy a target that might be, but certainly point out that their ignorance of the facts about my religion has led them into error. Can they quote the “Charge of the Goddess” or the Wiccan Rede like I can quote the Bible? If they cannot, then I point out that their opinion of my religion is invalid, since it is based on speculation, and not on research or facts.
They usually wander away at this point, looking for easier targets. Remember, most of these door-to-door Jesus salesmen are required by their church to spend X-amount of hours doing this mission work. They truly believe it’s their calling. So be it. Although it’s tempting to turn their “holier-than-thou” attitude in on itself, I generally play nice.
When they offer testimony of their faith, I like to return the favor. I always like to believe that maybe a breakthrough will occur and genuine spiritual sharing can happen. Who knows? Maybe a door will open for one of them, and they’ll experience the Goddess for the first time. I’m sure she’s whispering to their souls, too. Perhaps it’s too much to hope for, but it helps keep my exasperation in check, and puts the encounter in perspective.
As a final note, I like to point out how extremely unlikely it will be for them to find someone who genuinely hasn't heard "the good news" about Jesus yet. After all, they’ve spent the past two thousand years talking about little else. It’s pretty “old news” by now. That's when they generally roll their eyes and give up.
~Flame RavenHawk
November 26, 2003