I needed to meditate, to reground myself, not only in the world of form but also in the alternate planes of the spirit. Sitting in a half lotus position in my room I am also sitting in the same position on the mesa. In my open hands (one for each) I hold both the clear in my left and the white crystals, in my right, I acquired a while back. The natural shallow depression that is constantly supplied with rain water is before me and Thunder Mountain is in my view. I am conscious of the “Gate” to the west and The Grandmother, “the pillar” to the east. This time there is no sense of day or night.
I remember speaking in a whisper both in the world of form and the world of the spirits, “Mother grant that I may partake of your energy, replenish myself.” And though I feel energy flowing in then releasing it is not as prominent as it was the first time. But I know it is flowing through me.
The first thing I feel, for it is behind me and upwards and I cannot see it while I face the mountains, is the presence of a Raven. A messenger. Not a bird but the open winged representation one would find on a shield or banner. Like a house crest. But for what?
Then She appears. The one who came to speak with me when I was reading on Taelisen, the one who agreed that I may use the name Ceridwen for her. The Old Mother. She finds it amusing but she doesn’t deny me. She is tall, and though she seems ancient, old and wrinkled, appearances are deceiving. She is brown skinned, darkly tanned, and she is marked with tattoos. Strikingly pale blue that stands out against her skin. The markings are runes, spirals, symbols of many kinds. Silver hair is long and loose and she is clothed in only a robe belted at the hip. Her feet are bare. I like her.
“You are not ready yet.” She says. I agree with her. And she is amused. I can feel that she is amused. But not in a mean way. Something strikes me that she believes I'm just procrastinating (and maybe I am. Hesitant to take steps.) “Look” she says and I look down into the small pool in front of me. In the pool I see a banner and on the banner is a large black raven, a sword superimposed over it. “Do you recognize that?” she asks. I shake my head, answering “No I don’t.” and again she is amused with my answer.
“Follow” she says, shifting and transforming into a large raven herself she leaves the mesa. I follow, as a swallow. Again I can feel her amusement. Can hear the thought, ““You leap without hesitation and without great effort, fly.”” But I am finding that I am hard pressed to keep up to her and simply agree as I follow her. Flying over misty grounds below as we head west. There we land on the edge of a fores and shift back. The trees a far enough apart I can see the spectacular colors of a grand sunset. Gold to burnt orange to red to pink. I remember this place. I was here before and had started to explore but had not gone into the woods far. She fades away leaving me to my own devices.
The woods are a maze. The walls and dead ends cannot be seen. The paths are faded. And this time I turn to a tall rowan tree. Ready to try to traverse the maze again. But this time I would take a staff with me. Before the tree lies a fairly straight branch of a girth most comfortable to fit in the hand. And I spoke to the Rowan, “Great Rowan, thank you for your guidance.” And I bend down to pick up the staff. And I heard, “From here it had come and here it will remain when you are done.” With a nod, knowing that when I leave this forest the staff will remain here, I turn to the trees and following the beginning of the path I go some ways until I come to a fork going right and left. Dragging the end of the stick into the path behind me. A guide so to speak to help me backtrack or recognize where I have been. Thinking to myself:
To the right is emotion, to follow to the right is to follow your emotions. Emotions are confusing and change too often though they are valid and gallant to follow. When I had first come here, I had always kept to the right and found myself having to back track for meeting barriers I could not see. Almost to the point of getting lost.
But to the left, the left side of the brain is intuition, imagination, initiation, and inspiration. (The left is the area most common associated with the heart that beats and keeps all living things built as we are alive.) This time I choose to go left. This time I will follow my intuition. And the start of traveling this maze is the first step towards those revelations.
It is here I came out of the meditation. I know I will be able to return to it.