I continued my effort to process the message sent to me in a bolt of lightning. After my experience with God energy a few days ago, I decided to journey once again for further insights. In meditation, I went once again to my sacred tower. Once again, I concentrated on the image of sunlight setting every atom of my body dancing until my being became completely aglow and my physical substance was diffuse. I focused particularly on my heart, and made sure that it was open, energized and connected to the energizing nature of the sunlight. I expanded my aura to fill the room, and then I descended the stairs and entered the courtyard to my garden.
The Fleur-de-lis fountain was there again, since I had just been looking up the symbolism of the fleur-de-lis just prior to my meditation. The fleur-de-lis represents either the lily, symbol of purity; the Iris, symbol of the Goddess who visited me in this very garden once and consort to the Thunder God; or the Lotus, symbol of spiritual enlightenment. It has also become associated with warriors, appearing on coats of arms. The fountain now makes better sense to me, especially since I feel I might be hearing a call to explore the path of the spiritual warrior. I don't know what that means yet, but each clue is a step in the right direction. With all this in mind, I knelt at the base of the fountain and cleansed myself, plunging my head and shoulders into the water, splashing water over the rest of my glowing body, and cupping my hands to drink deeply. I had to concentrate on condensing my energy to allow my hands to scoop water instead of merging and passing through it.
As I stepped away from the fountain, the Goddess Iris once again swooped down upon the courtyard in a shimmering rainbow of light. I stood in the rainbow of light, and let my own glowing energy merge with it. Aglow and re-energized, I began following a path that led past the fountain and into the woods. The woods were peaceful, but the trail wasn't well marked. The woods were fairly open, allowing a walker to head off in nearly any direction unimpeded, but there wasn't one path that was clearly marked, not even a deer trail. I did not allow this to concern me, but rather reconnected with my heart and made sure that was still aglow and energized. Confirming that my heart remained open, I allowed my footsteps to lead me where they would.
Gradually, a sensation of being pushed by waves pulsed against my body as I wove through the woods. I closed my eyes briefly to concentrate on the sensation, and brought myself to the source. I found myself sitting with my legs outstretched before me in the shallows of the ocean. The sun was setting into the water before me, and the full moon was just rising. As the waves pushed against me rhythmically, they merged with the diffuse nature of my still glowing energy-body. Gradually, as the moon rose, the quality of light surrounding me changed from golden sunlight to crystal moonlight. In response, my own glow shifted from glowing sunlight to pearlescent moonlight. I and the moonlight were one.
In this state of one-ness, I began asking myself the questions: What is real in this moment? Who am I?
And I felt the deep knowing of the only answer that is ever given, and yet I forget over and over: Love. Love is real, the only real thing, and I am made of love.
With this reminder, I focused on my heart again to find it glowing so brightly that it flooded the moonlight shimmer that I had become. I lay on the beach, half in, half out of the water, and felt myself shining brightly from my heart. Glowing fiercely, I stood up from the lapping waves and thrust my arms out. Electrical energy zinged along every nerve, and I willed it along my arms, and into my hands, where they blazed with light. I directed it up and down my spine, up through my crown and down through my feet, and thought of the World Tree.
At that thought, I leaped and dove head first through the sand of the beach and sped deeply down into the earth. Finding the heat arising from the core, I turned and planted my feet, merging and anchoring my energy within the burning womb of the planet. Speeding up from the core, I surged upward and broke the surface, rising swiftly into the sky. My body became the swift growing trunk of the World Tree, with branches, twigs, and leaves sprouting and uncurling at incredible rates. I shot straight up through the top of the Tree directly into the outer atmosphere, and my glowing energy body paused to compare the difference in sensations that being in space brings.
Space isn't empty. It, too, pulses with energy and light. I looked over at the pinpoint of light that was Sol, and saw our tiny blue planet circling serenely. My being was a diffuse glowing collection of energy… it wanted to merge, but sought something to merge with. Then, looking once again at Earth, I saw a whole network of glowing spheres of energy just like me. They encircled the planet, and I understood them to be entities that serve and protect the energy of Earth. They are guardians. I got the sense that some of these pinpoints of light might be fellow humans, but others were unmanifested spirits/avatars who are serving the energy of life. I longed to merge with that encircling web of protection and serve as well, but the energy of motion moving me outward hadn't finished yet.
I continued to expand outward until our solar system was a speck in the larger sweep of the galaxy. The spiral arms shrunk as I continued to speed past it and I was able to see as many galaxies as grains of sand on the beach I had just left. Again, I felt the pulsing surge of waves of energy, and saw a larger pattern emerge from the vastness of space. I saw a vast glow that infused the entire universe, and I was drawn toward it like a fleck of iron is drawn to a magnet. I was but a mere atom of light compared to the infinite vastness of the light that I beheld. And yet that light and my light were one. As I merged with this energy, a powerful jolt surged through the tiny speck of light that I had become.
I felt huge waves of love emanate from this glow. And in observing this and experiencing it, I saw that "love" isn't something passive, but was very much an active force. Love is a verb. Love is an action, something that is done. This energy wasn't just sitting there, it was in constant motion, throbbing, pulsing, moving, working, and to be a part of that, I had to allow that energy to move through me and act through me.
Part of me wanted to stay there, merged with the infinite energy of the universe, but the part of my spirit that still dwelt within the physical form reminded me of where that speck of energy belonged. I spun away, and allowed myself to be drawn back on my return path. When I re-entered our solar system, I observed the network/halo of light that surrounds our planet, and I merged my energy with it. It felt right.
Pulling my energy further within, I returned back down the World Tree until I was once again on the beach. I was still glowing brightly, but no longer with either simple sunlight or moonlight, but with the golden glow of "universal love" that I had experienced. That is the substance of the universe. That is what keeps the atoms dancing. That is who and what I am.
Shaken and awed by the experience, the journey ended.
~Flame RavenHawk
August 9, 2005