When I get to my ledge, I notice that my fire has burned down to glowing coals. I go down the path to gather more wood, and when I return, I carefully re-make my fire. I notice against the side of the cave is a wooden rack with strips of drying meat on it. It bothers me that I don't know what animal the meat came from. I think it might be Elk. There is also a large basket woven from reeds filled with unground corn. I choose four kernels and put them in my mouth. When they are wet and starting to soften, I spit them into the fire as an offering.
I rise and go into the cave to seek Tortoise. I sit in my circle and he arrives immediately. I ask him to again show me my fears, and suddenly I feel something hit me on the back of my head. I jump up and turn around, and there is a man with a club laughing at me and taunting me.
He is dressed in a fringed loincloth with high moccasins that come up to his knees. His hair falls to his shoulders, held by a head band with blue and white beads on one side. I don't understand what language he is speaking.
He starts to circle around me, slapping, poking, and kicking me; laughing and shouting insults the whole time. I try to strike back, and manage to hit him lightly on his upper arm. He pulls out a knife, and shifts it from hand to hand. The only knife I have with me is my sacred blade, and I don't want to use that to fight with. I make a decision. I turn my back on the man, and face Tortoise. I tell Tortoise that even if he stabs me in the back, I refuse to fight the man. With these words the man disappeared.
I sit down in front of Tortoise and ask him who the man was. I'm not sure if he is a dangerous, hidden part of me, or a spirit outside of me who is challenging my strength. Tortoise has me approach him, and then shrink myself until I am about the size of an ant. I look up his now mammoth leg into the inside of his shell, and see stars.
I climb up into Tortoise's shell and hear him explain that the shell protects his inner universe, but that if something small gets inside the sturdy shell, it can do a lot of damage. I realize the immensity of his trust that he would let me into his shell to teach me this lesson. I also learn that the knife-man is that "small thing" inside of my shell, trying to do a lot of damage. It doesn't really matter where he came from, the fact that he is there and can do damage is enough.
I leave his shell and come back to full size again. Tortoise has shown me something about my fears after all. The knife-man is inside, slapping and poking, stabbing and laughing. It was Tortoise who had helped to bring him out where I could see him.
The knife-man appears in the cave again, this time standing quietly with his hands at his sides. I walk up to him and put my hands on his shoulders. I push down, gently but steadily, and he begins to shrink, and finally disappear. I know from this that when I had turned my back on knife-man the first time, it was Tortoise who had banished his appearance. This time, it was my own power who was able to banish knife-man.
I thank Tortoise for his help, and offer him a head of lettuce. As he begins to eat he says "I notice that the only gifts you ever offer here are food." When I ask him what other gifts I could have given instead, he only answers "food is good." I leave the cave the way I had entered and sit down by my fire.
The Journey ended.
~Flame RavenHawk