While actively recovering from emotional stress, it is difficult to expend the energy necessary to learn a new discipline like magic. At times such as these, you need to focus your energy and attention on the areas of your life that need it most. Magic can be an excellent tool for growth and self-exploration, as well as providing the self-empowering notion that you can and do control your own life.
So how do you begin? What do you need to do to start? Practice with meditation is an excellent beginning, because getting comfortable with the inside of your head must come before anything else. Have you tried any form of meditation and failed? Do you have a hard time "letting go and doing nothing". So why try? If that method of meditation isn't currently working for you, why not switch tactics?
I feel that meditation is the most valuable skill you can ever develop in your life. Absolutely, without qualification. It has so many advantages and benefits that it cannot be overlooked in serious magical practice. If you believe nothing else I ever say, believe this. Unfortunately, most of the benefits from regular meditation don't dramatically appear overnight; and frequently, meditation can be frankly boring. This makes regular meditation a hard sell.
Note that I don't merely say "meditation", but I stress the importance of regular meditation. This usually means daily, at least at first. It doesn't have to be a long time each day, 15 minutes will usually do... but it does have to be regular and consistent. That's the secret that everyone neglects because they don't see it's importance. Infrequent or irregular meditation does not usually do more than relax a person. You won't get the benefits of meditation unless you are consistent.
So, on to practical advice: I would recommend that you find 15 minutes in each day (preferably around the same time each day) that you can schedule a meditation. If you can work it into your waking routine, so much the better. Wake up 15 minutes earlier than normal if that's what it takes, but work it into your "morning" routine... as much of a habit as showering, eating, and brushing your teeth.
I would recommend that one focus of your meditation should be to create a special "place" that you go to "touch base" with yourself. Personally, my "special place" is a small patch of woods that I used to hang out in as a child. Whenever I meditate, I go to this special place and walk the trails through the trees. I mentally watch the birds, sit by a small stream, feel the sun and wind on my skin (it's always summer in my meditations!), smell the fresh scent of the pine trees, and immerse myself in the experience of fully being there. Find a place that you are already familiar with in the physical world, so you don't have to work as hard at "creating" a place from scratch. It might be a park, or a field, or a mountain you once climbed, or virtually anyplace you've spent some time and felt at peace and safe. Each day, mentally try to recreate this world until you can enter it swiftly and effortlessly.
Once you have done this, you will likely find that experiences will seek you out. If you have created a safe space for yourself, then all sorts of wonderful things will begin to happen. You might meet your Spirit Guides there, for example... or you might have an encounter with God or Goddess. You might find the solution to a problem that has been bothering you while in your "special place"... this happens frequently, and is one of the benefits to regular meditation.
Don't worry about feeling like your imagination is "making it up". Of course it is! That's the whole point! But you need to expand your understanding of what imagination is, and it's role in your life. Your imagination is your inner spirit, your true self, your "higher power". When you free up your imagination in this manner, all sorts of delightful things are allowed to happen. Your imagination creates your own reality. What you experience in your meditations are as real as you wish them to be. If you discover a solution to some pressing problem during meditation, will you dismiss it after the meditation is over? Even though it all came from your "imagination"? Of course not... and this is the secret to magic.
This is the link between meditation and magic. Magic is created within the realm of free imagination. What can be imagined can be created. What you see with your mind can become reality.
One other issue that I'd like to address is the newcomer's perception of magic being more powerful than you can currently control. Your magic is a natural expression of your own personal power. It is no more or less powerful than you currently are. (And meditation will improve your control). You really don't have to worry much about wielding magic as a dangerous weapon. It is as natural as using your hand to scratch your nose. If you have an itch, you instinctively reach up to scratch, eh? Do you worry that your workouts in the gym have made your arm so strong that you will tear off your nose? Of course not. Do you wonder if your hand is strong enough to satisfy the itch? Probably not, unless you have some specific physical problem that makes the use of your hand an issue.
So how do you want to work magic? What is it that you want magic to do for you? If you want to scratch your "itches", you are already as "powerful" as you need to be. If you want to go blasting through doors, then you will likely need some time working out in a "magical gym". Don't be afraid of magic. It's the most natural thing there is: it's what the universe is made of. Every living thing has equal access to magic... it's our birthright. Don't be scared of it. Use it ethically, and you are already as powerful as you need to be.
~Flame RavenHawk