There was a single moment that changed my life — a moment that transformed me from a seeker searching for the simple certainty of faith, to a life dedicated to the path of service to the Divine. It was a moment that moved me beyond just talking about spiritual truths — it set me on the path of actually living a spiritual life. It was my moment of personal epiphany when I became ordained as Priestess by the Goddess.
One summer evening I was driving with a friend through a city park when we saw the full moon. It had recently risen and was still swollen and huge on the horizon. That full moon radiated such a golden glow that we felt the need to pull over to the side of the road to admire Her. Impulsively, we got out of the car and moved to the soft grass under a large tree where our view would be unobstructed.
The moon was hypnotic, and my friend and I fell silent as we slipped under the ancient spell of a beautiful moon-rise. I lay back on the grass, and gradually felt myself sinking into the flesh of the earth. I felt my body melt and merge into the soil, and soon I became a *part* of the earth; passive, huge, gazing ever upward into the radiant eye of the moon. The moon stared down, filling my spirit with glowing golden light. I felt my spirit reflect that light back, merging with it until I glowed back at the moon.
At that moment, my psyche seemed wrenched open, the eyelids of my mind were peeled back with the rush of *knowing* that filled me. I saw galaxies born and die, and electrons spinning around the atom. I saw the complete order and purpose of the Universe. I glimpsed its own awareness of itself. I felt that I had *become* the Universe. I was deeply embraced by the mind of the Goddess. As I was mentally reeling and trying to absorb the enormity of it all, it was at this moment that She told me that I was to be Her teacher, Her Priestess. My spirit vibrated with the force of Her command.
Slowly the glow receded from the center of my soul, the Universe shrank back down to manageable proportions, and gradually I began to be aware of my body as distinct from the ground beneath me. I opened eyes I hadn’t realized were closed, to discover tears streaming down my face. I looked over to my friend to see tears on her cheeks as well. Without exchanging a word, we somehow knew that we had both experienced something magical under the Moon that night.
Answering the Call
I had been called to be Her teacher, Priestess and Minister, and that Call totally changed my life. I began to pursue my studies with dedication and enthusiasm. I became deeply aware of the fact that divisions are illusions -- that we are all one. We all share the same connection to this universal life force. As a result of this intense experience of connection, I became much more aware of myself in relation to the world around me. I became deeply concerned about environmental and political issues for the first time. I realized that it’s all my “backyard”. I also began to devote myself to a regular practice of meditation, to try and maintain the connection to Divine that I had felt that beautiful summer night. Gradually, as I shared what I was learning and experiencing, I found myself connecting with like-minded others. We began to learn and celebrate together, and a Circle naturally formed. Within a Circle, the power of the Sacred began to flow through me. The Call I had felt from the Goddess was a compelling tug within my Spirit. I became a channel of Spirit. I felt the presence of God/dess within me and through me. I was Their Priestess, and was recognized as a High Priestess within my Circle as one who led the rites.
Even outside of the Circle, this Call affected all areas of my life. Whenever I am asked for help from someone in need, I feel compelled to reach out and respond. Even when I don’t know what I am supposed to do or say, the Lord or Lady always steps in and says just the right thing at just the right moment. In a sense, I am their tool, their method of reaching out to those who seek Their help.
I didn’t seek to become legally ordained at first. Becoming an ordained Minister and becoming a Priest/ess may be related, but can often be very different things. Becoming legally ordained can be done in a variety of ways, and for a variety of motives. Becoming a Priest/ess is more a matter of listening within and hearing the Call, and then answering it. This compelling Call is the very voice of the Divine, calling the priest/ess to Their service. It is this inner Calling to the Priesthood that makes one a Priest/ess, not the legal paperwork of ordination.
Many people who feel this inner spiritual call also decide to seek legal recognition so that they can more easily fulfill the requirements of their calling. Many Wiccans have sought ordination to perform legal handfastings for members of their covens. Others have sought legal ordination to “legitimize” themselves to government institutions for a variety of reasons: (1) for permits to hold rituals in public places; (2) to minister spiritually to coven members who are in hospitals or correctional facilities; (3) for letters written in support of a fellow pagan who is experiencing discrimination.
I received my legal credentials from the Universal Life Church in 1995 for some of these reasons. By that point, for several years I had been the priestess of a circle of Pagans who gathered together for Sabbats. Unfortunately, one of our circle became incarcerated. I sought legal recognition as a Minister so I could perform a healing ceremony in the correctional facility. I also wrote letters to the facility on his behalf, so he could use supplies such as incense or feathers in his cell. Unfortunately, New York State does not recognize the ULC, so I was not able to perform the ceremony before he was moved out of my area. Since that incident, I have never needed legal recognition of my role as Priestess.
After I got my ULC credentials, my Circle gathered for an Ordination Ceremony. It was a beautiful ritual that allowed me to publicly affirm the vows that I had sworn to the Goddess so many years before. It was also a public affirmation of my Calling. Fortunately, my vowed service to the Lord and Lady doesn’t usually depend on legal credentials. My primary service is a teaching ministry, and I don’t need legal recognition to talk to people who come to me for help.
The Commitment
Answering my Call means a personal commitment of time and effort. I have a daily practice that includes 20 minutes of yoga, 20 minutes of meditation, and 20 minutes of journal writing. Being a Priestess means maintaining my body as a vessel of the Spirit. My body and mind is the vehicle that carries me to my destination with Divine. Nurturing this connection has become a priority in my life. I’ve found that if I maintain a sense of serenity and openness, I can reestablish a close connection with God and Goddess. I feel inspired and fulfilled.
I approach all situations in my life from this position of inspiration. My connection with Divine confirms my spiritual truths and the path I walk. My spirituality is no longer isolated and set apart from how I live my life. My spiritual truths inform all areas of my life, from moral behaviors to political action. Answering the Call means allowing my spiritual beliefs to inform and inspire my behaviors and actions.
A deeper awareness of the principles behind the admonition to “harm none” show me how I should treat myself and others. I think more carefully of the consequences of my behaviors. The Rule of Three has shown me how energy flows through the world, and has shown me the folly of holding onto negative thoughts and emotions. As a Priestess, I have a greater awareness of my life as a grand journey. My spirituality is what I steer by.
My experience of being Called by the Goddess was one that changed my life. The Lady came into my spirit and spoke with me. It was an experience that ripped me away from the security of all I once knew, and set me on an entirely new path in life. In that eternal moment, I became Her Priestess. From that point on, my life and my actions became devoted to the path of the Divine.
~Flame RavenHawk
November 9, 2002